That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here; it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch.– Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch
There have been countless times where I have found myself to be stuck, left undecided in which path to take. The world we live in is disorientating, making us often feel confused and isolated for where we currently are. What do I do when I cannot see beyond the present? Where do I go if I cannot see a path in front of me? Who do I ask guidance from, if we are all heading in different directions?
These feelings seem to appear, and disappear of their own accord. I am always in a constant state of impermanence, never completely here nor there. Each day passes by, a brief second in the timeline of the universe. A week goes, a month, then a year. I have yet to be surprised by the sheer speed at which time travels, taking our lives along with it. We have yet to ask time for permission, to return wasted moments back to us. To give us a second chance for the hours lost, unused, discarded among the rest of them. Once lost, time will never return, even if it wanted to.
Time waits for no human, for no being in all forms. It travels too fast to see beyond where it is going, to listen to anyone but itself. The destination it travels towards is far louder than the questions we ask, as there is no calling as powerful as the place it is destined to go. Why don’t we move with the same conviction? Why do we falter so easily, letting ourselves be stopped by such minor inconveniences? Are we not capable of seeing past the pain, the discomfort in our own narratives?
The story we tell ourselves, about who we were and who we wish to become, influences whether or not we move forward. Through changing the way I view myself and the trials I endured, I have escaped time’s confinement. I have undone time’s grasp on where I am heading, and how long I have yet to go.
In moments where we find ourselves unable to move, roots anchored in hurt, wallowing in life’s unfairness – is where we must decide to continue. Sever the roots you have tethered in unfounded fears, and walk even if you cannot see what you are walking towards. As the place you will find yourself in, will be much better than where you have ever been before.
Do you have the courage to walk towards a future you cannot see? Could you continue without questioning, that you are worthy of what’s to come? Will you make it through the fog, undeterred?