I had often toyed with pictures of the future, dreamed of roles which might be assigned to me – as a poet, maybe, or a prophet or painter or kindred vocation. All that was futile. I was not there to write poetry, to preach or paint; neither I nor any other man was there for that purpose. They were only incidental things. There was only one true vocation for everybody – to find the way to himself. He might end as a poet, lunatic, prophet or criminal – that was not his affair; ultimately it was of no account. His affair was to discover his own destiny, not something of his own choosing, and live it out wholly and resolutely within himself.Hermann Hesse, Demian
At certain points in our lives, we are forced to reflect, at the paths we have taken and the people we have become. Whether it is by choice, or merely happenstance, realisations found during this period becomes a pivotal turning point. A river cannot stagnate, as it would overflow. To increase in intensity and surrender, is the only way to grow. It is only through stillness that transformative change can occur. In the constriction of our routines, it is easy to become complacent. Falling subservient to outside systems and rules, leaves us powerless. In the brokenness, the debris of the old, gratitude reigns. For the experiences we had, and memories acquired. Looking back provides perspective, an understanding of what is important. The material aspects of this world is just as temporary as we are, an impermanent mirror of our own being.
Not all mountains can be moved through action. Inaction is just as vital for forward momentum. Whilst growing up, I would always strive to live in tomorrow. Planning the endless tasks which I expected myself to complete, and forcing myself to work even when my mind or body signalled otherwise. I had a strong belief that my worthiness was attached to my productivity. However, in the silence, I realised that concept no longer needs to be true. The thoughts, habits and behaviours we identify ourselves with forms our identity – can be changed. Allowing these patterns to run on auto-pilot only strengthens what we claim to be true of our individual experiences. To interrupt them, is to make space for new.
To be in this world, but not of it, is a blessing. The greatest lessons are given in disguise, jarring us into presence. Though clouded by initial confusion, we can proceed by questioning old paradigms and transitioning into the next. The known is comfortable, allowing us to remain settled in a disintegrating home. Comfort can still be found in chaos, realising that all we ever needed was ourselves. Desperate to find a place I could call home, I wandered further and further away from myself. Only to discover years later, that the home I once sought after existed within me. The cocoon built from past attachments now crumbles under the piercing light, realising my inner untapped potential.
To unravel and emerge requires patience, and love. The known ceases to exist as you find yourself meandering through each valley, gathering hidden treasures. Letting emotions arise when you least expect them to, releasing resistance and allowing them to pass through you. Being the guesthouse embraces your innate expansion, and reaffirms your ability to hold space for whatever comes your way. The process of remembering who you truly are, without conflicting external perspectives is essential for building self-trust. Can you trust yourself to fly using your newfound wings?
By listening to that voice inside, the one you suppressed for others all those years ago, who knows what you will find. A long lost dream, waiting to bloom into fruition. A sense of wonder for the world, and all the glory it has to offer. A deep-rooted, irrevocable bond with the unknown. An expectation upon emerging, that the light will eternally carry you. Trusting the journey and rekindling forgotten faith. Faith in yourself, for what you can endure and beyond. Transmuting trepidation into curiosity. Releasing control and, finally, embracing flow.
What will you do when all destructive distractions disappear? Do you have the patience to let your old world unravel? Are you willing to reclaim your creative sovereignty, and celebrate the unknown?