I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible; to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance, to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom, and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.Dawn Markova, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion
Grey skies and blue minds. I seem to be in a mixture of emotions. I am glad. I am happy. I am sad. I am mad. I am all of the above.
The bittersweetness of life has gotten to me. I am growing older. Older than my age it seems. Some days I care way too much. Others way too little. Some days I mourn the lives I could have lived. Some days I celebrate the detours, the meanders. The reroutes that got me here.
On these grey days, nothing makes sense. The pain we all experience. The love, the grief, the joy. The loss. The doors left unopened. The conversations left unsaid. Though they end, they never leave.
I have been softened by storms. I never expected them. But they arrived. One by one. Clearing the path ahead of me. Even when I thought it was already clear. I always believed that there was an end. To all of this. That I would wake up one day and reach the finish line.
There is no finish line. There is only one day. There is only one sprint. And we are given chances to live each day differently. But we don’t know which one will be the last.
That terrifies me.
I have one day to give it my all. I have one day to change. I have one day to live a life I haven’t lived.
Well, here we go.